Not seeing myself as successful in comparison to others has contributed to unhappiness in my life.
For me, I have always believed earning lots of money was the ‘pinnacle of success’ and given I have never really earned a lot of money, I always saw myself as a failure.
I was always comparing myself to friends who earned significantly more than me and because I never earned such a wage, I concluded that I simply wasn’t as good as them. This is not healthy for your state of mind.
The concept of ‘success’ warrants a full post, and this will come later, however you can see the damaging effect it can have.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck’ book by Mark Manson rightly says that measuring your worth by comparing yourself to others will only lead to disappointment and this is a shitty value that can derail your path to happiness.
Our happiness must come first before anything else.
We live in a world now where we are constantly surrounded by Social Media and our day to day lives can literally be spent looking at what is going on in everybody else’s lives. We can view another persons wealth , career, love life, gym routine and even what they had for breakfast. We can then make direct comparison against our own life if we choose to.
Or……we could live our own life instead?
I am not saying turn off Social Media, because it has many great benefits and is great to see what family and friends are up to. However, only when managed correctly, because it also can drain the fucking life out of you and your happiness, and it really can make you feel like shit.
In my next post I will touch on ways in which we can help foster a more positive approach to this issue.
However, as a take home message from today remember:
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self”- Iyanla Vanzan
So instead of comparing, realise you are your own person, unique in your own way. You have skills and qualities that others don’t, so embrace them. Start living YOUR life instead.